Friday, October 28
On my to-do list: Ophthalmologist appointment at 11:30 a.m. at the American University Hospital.
11:10 a.m.-Arrive at AUH building. Look at my planner, notice the my appointment is supposed to be on the seventh floor. This building only has five floors. Decide to go to Student Health Services office near the entrance for assistance. Have plenty of time before appointment, maybe the doctor could squeeze me in earlier.
Should be a piece of cake.
11:11 a.m.-"Hi, I have an appointment at 11:30, but I'm not sure where it is."
"Is this your first appointment at the hospital?"
"Err... yes."
"Go across the hall to get your file and then come back here."
11:13 a.m.-Get file. They ask for my mother's name. Give them her first name. Realize afterwards as they hand me my file that they meant maiden name. Feel stupid.
11:18 a.m.-Come back to Student Health office and hand her my file. Am given a yellow form with the name of my doctor and the appointment time.
"Go to the HIP desk, and then to the second floor for your appointment."
11:20 a.m.-Have no idea what HIP stands for and what I'm supposed to get from the HIP desk. Get in line anyway.
11:25 a.m.-HIP Desk person: "You're not in our files. Why don't you have insurance?"
"I have my French insurance, I'm just not on the AUB Health Insurance Plan [ooooooh....]"
"Then why are you in line?"
"Because someone told me to..."
"Just go directly to the cashier, and tell him you don't have HIP."
11:27 a.m.-Cashier Desk:
"Hi, I need to pay for my appointment."
"Do you have HIP?"
"No, I have my own health insurance, but I was told to come here."
"You can't pay if you don't have an appointment."
"I have an appointment, it's at 11:30."
"Okay. Go to your appointment, and come back here to pay after."
11:30 a.m.-Enter elevator, headed for the second floor.
11:31 a.m.-Second floor appears to be cancer ward.
"Excuse me, do you know where I could find [Eye Doctor]?"
"Oh, it's not in this building. Go to the ER building on the seventh floor"
11:32 a.m.-Call elevator to go down to the ground floor and exit building. Accidentally enter elevator going up to the fifth floor. Elevator stops at every floor both on the way up and the way down.
11:35 a.m.-Exit elevator, get directions to ER building, cross the street. See ER sign and head toward that entrance. Can't find elevators. Exit building, notice other entrance, head inside, locate elevators. Go to seventh floor.
11:38 a.m.-Get off on seventh floor, wander down long, long hallway, finally find ophthalmologist waiting room.
"Hi, I have an appointment at 11:30. Here is my form."
"You're missing a file. Did you go to HIP?"
"Yes, but I'm not on HIP. I have my own insurance."
"But you haven't paid. You can't go to your appointment unless you have already paid."
"I already went to the cashier, but he said to come here directly."
"No, you need to pay with him first, and then come back."
11:45 a.m.-Call elevator to go down to the ground floor and exit building. Accidentally enter elevator going up to the tenth floor. Elevator stops at every floor both on the way up and the way down.
11:50 a.m.-Exit ER building, cross the street, go to cashier.
""Hi, it's me again, I need to pay for my appointment."
"Did you go to the HIP desk?"
"I'm not on HIP, I have my own insurance."
"In that case, you go to your appointment first, and come back here to pay after."
On my to-do list: Ophthalmologist appointment at 11:30 a.m. at the American University Hospital.
11:10 a.m.-Arrive at AUH building. Look at my planner, notice the my appointment is supposed to be on the seventh floor. This building only has five floors. Decide to go to Student Health Services office near the entrance for assistance. Have plenty of time before appointment, maybe the doctor could squeeze me in earlier.
Should be a piece of cake.
11:11 a.m.-"Hi, I have an appointment at 11:30, but I'm not sure where it is."
"Is this your first appointment at the hospital?"
"Err... yes."
"Go across the hall to get your file and then come back here."
11:13 a.m.-Get file. They ask for my mother's name. Give them her first name. Realize afterwards as they hand me my file that they meant maiden name. Feel stupid.
11:18 a.m.-Come back to Student Health office and hand her my file. Am given a yellow form with the name of my doctor and the appointment time.
"Go to the HIP desk, and then to the second floor for your appointment."
11:20 a.m.-Have no idea what HIP stands for and what I'm supposed to get from the HIP desk. Get in line anyway.
11:25 a.m.-HIP Desk person: "You're not in our files. Why don't you have insurance?"
"I have my French insurance, I'm just not on the AUB Health Insurance Plan [ooooooh....]"
"Then why are you in line?"
"Because someone told me to..."
"Just go directly to the cashier, and tell him you don't have HIP."
11:27 a.m.-Cashier Desk:
"Hi, I need to pay for my appointment."
"Do you have HIP?"
"No, I have my own health insurance, but I was told to come here."
"You can't pay if you don't have an appointment."
"I have an appointment, it's at 11:30."
"Okay. Go to your appointment, and come back here to pay after."
11:30 a.m.-Enter elevator, headed for the second floor.
11:31 a.m.-Second floor appears to be cancer ward.
"Excuse me, do you know where I could find [Eye Doctor]?"
"Oh, it's not in this building. Go to the ER building on the seventh floor"
11:32 a.m.-Call elevator to go down to the ground floor and exit building. Accidentally enter elevator going up to the fifth floor. Elevator stops at every floor both on the way up and the way down.
11:35 a.m.-Exit elevator, get directions to ER building, cross the street. See ER sign and head toward that entrance. Can't find elevators. Exit building, notice other entrance, head inside, locate elevators. Go to seventh floor.
11:38 a.m.-Get off on seventh floor, wander down long, long hallway, finally find ophthalmologist waiting room.
"Hi, I have an appointment at 11:30. Here is my form."
"You're missing a file. Did you go to HIP?"
"Yes, but I'm not on HIP. I have my own insurance."
"But you haven't paid. You can't go to your appointment unless you have already paid."
"I already went to the cashier, but he said to come here directly."
"No, you need to pay with him first, and then come back."
11:45 a.m.-Call elevator to go down to the ground floor and exit building. Accidentally enter elevator going up to the tenth floor. Elevator stops at every floor both on the way up and the way down.
11:50 a.m.-Exit ER building, cross the street, go to cashier.
""Hi, it's me again, I need to pay for my appointment."
"Did you go to the HIP desk?"
"I'm not on HIP, I have my own insurance."
"In that case, you go to your appointment first, and come back here to pay after."
"But they told me to come here first. I was told I can't have my appointment unless I pay."
Cashier picks up phone, dials a number, speaks fast in Arabic, hangs up.
"Go back to the doctor, and come pay here later."
11:55 a.m.-Exit building, cross the street, enter ER building, go to the seventh floor, walk down long, long hallway, enter ophthalmologist waiting room.
12:00 p.m.-"I just spoke to the cashier on the phone. You're going to need to go pay him later, after your appointment."
"...Yes. I know."
12:25 p.m.-Get called in for doctor's appointment. Numerous tests, eye drops, and a cashier visit later, exit hospital at 2:05 p.m.
Now that's what I call a productive morning.
Haha, at least they didn't tell you at 12.30pm that you were an hour late for your appointment and to reschedule... Arab efficiency at its best!
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