Yesterday marked two years since I first came to Lebanon. It’s still surreal to think of all the factors that contributed to my being here. If I hadn’t felt unfulfilled with my job, if I hadn’t gone through a big break-up, if my mother hadn’t mentioned an article about AUB, if I hadn’t had coffee with my friend L. who had just moved to Beirut… my life would be much different. Much blander.
These two years have felt both very short and very long. I have seen so many things change progressively throughout my stay here: friends came and went, bars opened and closed, buildings rose from the ground and other were demolished. I have seen children slowly crowd the streets of Hamra trying to peddle gum and plastic roses as thousands upon thousands of Syrians took refuge in Lebanon only to live in abject poverty.
A year ago, I had no doubt whatsoever that I would still be here by the time September 2013 rolled around. But now, I'm not so sure. Beyond my yearning to explore somewhere else in a year's time, the situation seems hard to predict on the short term.
The threat of an American intervention in Syria has a huge impact on life in Lebanon as we all dread the inevitable repercussions it might have here. It might seem hard to realize following the debate from one's couch in the States, but knowing that a military strike could come tomorrow, in a week, in a month or not at all... is taking a heavy toll on our sense of safety and our psychological well-being.
The thought of having to leave Lebanon against my will because of political circumstances feels like a dagger to my heart. I love this place with ferocious intensity. It feels like home in a way two years in New York City never did.
So this is a bittersweet anniversary. No promises to be made, just the hope that, somehow, things will get better.
انا قلبي عايدي لا ينساني قلبك
والسهرة عا بابك اغلى من سنة
وبحبك يا لبنان
My heart is in your hands may your heart not forget me
And staying up late at your door is more precious than a year
I love you Lebanon
The full translated lyrics are here.
These two years have felt both very short and very long. I have seen so many things change progressively throughout my stay here: friends came and went, bars opened and closed, buildings rose from the ground and other were demolished. I have seen children slowly crowd the streets of Hamra trying to peddle gum and plastic roses as thousands upon thousands of Syrians took refuge in Lebanon only to live in abject poverty.
A year ago, I had no doubt whatsoever that I would still be here by the time September 2013 rolled around. But now, I'm not so sure. Beyond my yearning to explore somewhere else in a year's time, the situation seems hard to predict on the short term.
The threat of an American intervention in Syria has a huge impact on life in Lebanon as we all dread the inevitable repercussions it might have here. It might seem hard to realize following the debate from one's couch in the States, but knowing that a military strike could come tomorrow, in a week, in a month or not at all... is taking a heavy toll on our sense of safety and our psychological well-being.
The thought of having to leave Lebanon against my will because of political circumstances feels like a dagger to my heart. I love this place with ferocious intensity. It feels like home in a way two years in New York City never did.
So this is a bittersweet anniversary. No promises to be made, just the hope that, somehow, things will get better.
انا قلبي عايدي لا ينساني قلبك
والسهرة عا بابك اغلى من سنة
وبحبك يا لبنان
My heart is in your hands may your heart not forget me
And staying up late at your door is more precious than a year
I love you Lebanon
The full translated lyrics are here.
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